Osama, Osama, Wherefore Art Thou, Osama?

Good news for the non-Islamofascist portion of our planet's population (and especially those of us here in the U.S.): Osama Bin Laden is offering a truce. He'll stop plotting to kill all of us, and stop spreading worldwide his message of violence and death, as long as we agree to seal ourselves inside our borders and never talk to anyone again. Here's a snip from the article, which quotes a recently released audio tape purported to be recorded by Osama himself (thanks, BBC!):

"We have no objection to responding to this with a long-term truce based on fair conditions," the speaker said.

"We do not mind offering you a truce that is fair and long-term... so we can build Iraq and Afghanistan... there is no shame in this solution because it prevents wasting of billions of dollars.

"Your president is misinterpreting public opinion polls which show that the vast majority of you support the withdrawal of your forces from Iraq."

So, something troubles me here. What in the hell happened to Osama Bin Laden? Wasn't he public enemy #1 for a while there? Wasn't he all fire and brimstone, hell in a handbasket for the infidel dogs? Aren't we all sinners, isn't he the solution, isn't that why he turned the WTC into a towering inferno of hell? Now, he's talking about truces, war costs, and opinion polls? What a sellout bitch.

Osama Bin Laden, you used to scare 280 million people just about every day. And that was just in this country. Now? You're nothin' but another talking head. You DUMBASS. You should have kept posturing, should have kept us thinking your power was real. You were living the dream! Now we know that all you are is a thug with some guns. And crappy guns at that. And, we know you are living hand-to-mouth in the hardscrabble world of northwestern Pashtuni Pakistan. You used to be evil incarnate. Now you're a nobody. Dumbass.